FIFTY years ago…God breathed life into my…not so tiny…9+lb body!  i was loved and wanted! 

a very happy 81 to my mom who graciously submitted to Divine plans to have ME on HER 31st birthday!

the only way this day could be better would be if my pop were here.  but he got his promotion…to heaven…and there he waits…

ENOUGH by def: sufficient, all that is
required or needed

have you ever had someone say something to you that just about knocked your socks off?  when i sat down to write this post, i was flooded with things i wanted to talk about but i couldn’t quite get my thoughts organized.

and then i remembered a few months ago, in passing, a friend said to me: “What an amazing life you’ve created for yourself.”

it hit me like a ton of bricks.

all those forks in the road, all those doors, the curtains i wasn’t allowed to peek behind.  choices.

In all thy ways acknowledge Him
and He shall direct thy paths. ~Prov. 3:6

i didn’t do everything right.  far from it.  but i have no regrets. 
i love every experience i’ve had in this life.  the people.  the places.  the heartache.  the joy.

all of those decisions created the person i am today.  and this moment i’m standing in.  right here.  right now.  FIFTY.

hanging on my bulletin board!

looking back i realized that things began to jell when i turned 30.  not that the earlier years weren’t important and formative, but let’s face it…i spent my 20’s having some serious fun and who really wants to talk about their teens?  uh-huh.

when i turned 30 i had this gigantic KA-BOOM moment!  this enormous weight was lifted off my shoulders as everyone around me let out a *sigh* and gave up on all their plans for me!  wow!  i could hear the collective: well, she’s never gonna be this or she’s never gonna do that.

they were right!  and what a relief it was to enter my 30’s weighed down by only my own expectations…which were plenty!  thud.

and then came 40.  and another KA-BOOM!  only this time what vanished was the *this* and *that* i had put on myself!  free at last from the expectations i had piled on me.  nope, i’m never going back to school to finish college.  nope, i’m never going to ski double black diamonds!

*shouting* AND I DON’T HAVE TO BECAUSE I’M FORTY!

and boy were my 40’s ever great, skipping through life knowing that no one expected anything from me and i didn’t expect anything from me either!  the luxury of simply LIVING!

as i got into my late 40’s i started to wonder what FIFTY was going to bring.  my life was feeling pretty darn good!

there was no KA-BOOM.  there were no sirens.  no loud music.  no waking in the middle of the night.  it just happened.  slowly.  simmering….

and one day, i smiled.  and i knew exactly what FIFTY had brought me…

knowing…i won’t ever be the prettiest girl in the room….i won’t ever be the smartest girl in the room….i won’t ever be the skinniest girl in the room…i won’t ever be the most creative girl in the room…

and it doesn’t matter because i am enough.  just as i am.  the person God made me.  perfect in His eyes.

being enough makes me a better wife…a better daughter…a better sister…a better sister-in-law…a better aunt…a better friend.  a better me.

*sigh*

it certainly doesn’t mean that i’ve finished learning or that i’ve perfected this crazy thing called LIFE.  it just means that i now have the benefit of time, wisdom and life experience on my side. 

it doesn’t mean that i won’t fall off the tracks of God’s perfect plan for my life.  it just means that i will more easily and quickly recognize when i need to *right* my path.

all things considered, i wouldn’t go back.  not for anything.  i think i’ve done a pretty good job!  besides, i’m kinda liking the view from here!

the gift FIFTY has given me is being able to look at myself and see who i am instead of who i am not.  and, boy, does that ever feel FABULOUS!